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Every Day: Illness intervenes as friends show up to help
By ROB PAYNE
For Williamson A.M.
Last year our friends talked us into organizing a golf tournament to help offset Marcy's medical expenses. Neither of us play golf and in the end, that didn't matter. Our friends were able to raise money for us by providing some fun for themselves.
Our next-door neighbor Jay is an avid golfer. I've never heard a golfer say that he (or she) is any good at the game. I think they always understate their abilities, just in case they want to play someone for money. But Jay is a good golfer.
Jay came to us a couple of months ago and said, ''I want to put together a golf tournament to help you guys out.''
Last year's tournament raised money that helped tremendously, but Marcy is able to do less this year and needs more of my attention I didn't think we would be able to devote the same time to a tournament this year.
Jay assured us that he and his wife, Connie, would do the work and that it wouldn't take very much of my time or Marcy's. Jay, a salesperson who loves to play golf, said he has lots of friends who are salespeople who love to play golf. They all look for a reason to play. Connie's mother organizes a major Nashville tournament each year and volunteered to help as well.
Marcy and I both like to be in control, we like to try to organize everything. But over the last year, I've learned that we are not in control of anything except our will. So we said OK, let's do it.
The tournament was this past Monday. As it turns out, we were able to spend even less time on the tournament than we thought. We weren't even able to go to the course to thank the people who came.
For some reason, Marcy's lungs started collecting more fluids that were difficult to suction. It started about midnight the day of (or the night before) the tournament. She started running a fever, couldn't breathe and had a terrible rasp in her lungs. We almost went to the emergency room at one o'clock in the morning, but she decided to wait until the kids went to school to see how she felt.
She was better later in the morning, so we started getting ready to go to the dinner scheduled after the tournament. But at four o'clock that afternoon, as I started getting her ready to go in the wheelchair, it happened again. It took a couple of hours to get her comfortable again, so we missed the whole event.
It would have been good to see everyone and everyone would have liked to have seen Marcy. But they were there to help us, not to see us. They wanted to show their love and support. And that's exactly what they did.
There were dozens of players, almost as many volunteers, and even more people who donated cash, prizes, and/or items for the silent auction. Jay and Connie's friends came in droves as a testimony to their love for Jay and Connie. Many people came from our neighborhood, our church (ClearView Baptist) and from our contacts through Happy Tales Humane all as a testimony of their love for Marcy.
The tournament again raised money to go toward care for Marcy. But more importantly, it gave people a chance to express their love for each other them to us and us to them.
It seems odd that we now have an annual tradition of asking friends to do something we don't do ourselves: playing golf. But it feels good to have an annual tradition of asking friends to do something collectively that we see them doing daily on an individual basis: sharing love.
If you know a family in need, consider helping organize a fund-raiser for them. If they have had fund-raisers in the past, consider making their fund-raisers an annual event and volunteer to help on the next one.
You can help turn a traditional event into an untraditional love.
Every Day Is Precious is a column to remind us to treat everyone we see today as if it could be the last time we see them. It is written by Rob Payne, whose wife, Marcy, was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in August 2000. Now 40 years old, she has gone from winning 5 and 10K races to being quadriplegic and on a ventilator at home. For more ways to help others, to find more about Marcy or to receive e-mail updates on her condition, visit www.everydayisprecious.com. Readers may contribute to her care by sending donations to Every Day Is Precious, 2051 Harvington Drive, Franklin, TN 37069. If you have helped someone without being asked, or know of someone who has, share it with others. Send to rob@everydayisprecious.com or to Every Day Is Precious, 2051 Harvington Drive, Franklin, TN 37069.
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