|
Every Day is Precious: Try giving Christmas away for a change
Opinion by ROB PAYNE For Williamson A.M.
I asked my family and Marcy's family not to get us any more stuff this year for Christmas. Just leave us out of the family gift exchange. There were lots of reasons I asked for this and I try to convince myself that the main reasons are altruistic and loving. First, we have too much stuff. It seems like such a waste. A singing, flopping trout on the wall costs more than Christmas dinner for a homeless family. And since I hate to shop, I think everyone does. I don't want anyone to have to go out shopping for more stuff for us. But when I tell myself the truth, I know the main reasons for asking ''no more'' are selfish. Since Marcy's diagnosis of ALS, I'm the one responsible for picking up, dusting and/or vacuuming around all of our stuff. And, though we never gave gifts the way Elvis did, I'm not working now and we are not in a financial position to shop and spend like we have in the past. I tried to think of some way to make it sound less selfish, like asking family to give to a charity instead of to us. But every time I tried to put it together in my mind, I kept thinking of the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza fabricates ''The Human Fund'' and tells co-workers their gift is that he made a donation in their name. Of course, ''The Human Fund'' never existed. The best I could do was lamely tell my family that my gift to family members is not to try to think of something we need. We don't need anything. Spend that time doing something you really want to do. I selfishly thought my gift thoughtful. Bah! Humbug! But Billie must not have a selfish bone in her body. I barely know Billie. We used to work at the same place the job before the job I had to leave to care for Marcy. So I actually worked with her over 5 years ago. I haven't talked with her on the phone since then. I think I saw her once in the last 5 years when she came to my workplace to visit someone else. We received a card from Billie's mother. The card reads (in part): ''My daughter who worked with Rob became aware of your needs and asked me to donate what I meant to spend on her to you two. So this is my gift to Billie and, in turn, her gift to you. You will be in my prayers and thoughts daily.'' Inside the card was a generous check. The money will help pay bills, but Billie's giving away her own Christmas has touched us deeply and shows us the love that is Christmas. And while that is a great gift to us, it is also a gift to her mother. And what better gift to a mother than demonstrating what a wonderful person she has brought into this world? If you know a family in need, and there is a holiday, birthday or other occasion coming up for which people traditionally give you a gift, consider telling friends and family to give to a needy family instead. That is the gift of a giver.
Every Day Is Precious is a column to remind us to treat everyone we see today as if it could be the last time we see them. It is written by Rob Payne, whose wife, Marcy, was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in August 2000. Now 40 years old, she has gone from winning 5 and 10K races to being quadriplegic and on a ventilator at home. For more ways to help others, to find more about Marcy, or to receive e-mail updates on her condition, visit www.EveryDayIsPrecious.com. Readers may contribute to her care by sending donations to Every Day Is Precious, 2051 Harvington Drive, Franklin, TN 37069.
|