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Every Day is Precious: Some people radiate serenity
By ROB PAYNE
For Williamson A.M.
There are several names for high gusts of winds: hurricane, tornado, gale. But I don't know the official, meteorological name for a calm is it a high pressure system?
Whatever it's called, that's what Nancy brought to our house last Friday.
If I didn't live it, I would think that being home every day would mean everything was always calm and under control. I mean, you're right there. Why are there dishes in the sink? Why are there clothes in both the washer and the dryer and neither of them are running? Why isn't last week's soccer uniform clean? Why aren't the kids making straight A's?
If you don't know the answer to those questions, you've never done it. When I left my job to care for Marcy, I knew things wouldn't be perfect, but I thought without clients and employees to think about, I would stop having more things to do than I have time to do them. I have since discovered that schedules and ''to do lists'' don't come to me, they come from me.
One of my ''to do's'' each day is to check e-mail.
A couple of weeks ago I got an e-mail from a stranger named Nancy saying she has been reading these columns and has been to EveryDayIsPrecious.com and read almost the whole site. She wanted to come by to visit and oh, by the way, she has 13 years of respiratory therapy experience, so she knows how to care for Marcy. She said she would be happy to stay with Marcy sometime if I needed to run some errands.
Last Friday I needed to go to the bank, the church, to pick up a birthday present for Marcy, start the generator on the RV, and pick up a couple of things from the grocery store. I had preyed on neighbors for errands enough this week. So I called Nancy on Friday.
''Guess what?'' I started. ''You said you might be able to come over sometime to visit with Marcy. How's this for short notice: how about today?''
Nancy said today would be perfect. Her husband had taken the day off so he could stay with their kids. As soon as she arrived, I could tell there was something different about her. She is very even keeled, very laid back.
When she got to our house, one of the dogs (the one that runs like a wild chicken) had just escaped, I was on the home phone, the cell phone was ringing, a nurse was here to change Marcy's PIC line dressing, another nurse had just left after drawing blood, Darcy (age 10) had just arrived home from school and had 20 minutes to pack to go to her Girl Scout troop's Beverly Hills Camp Out, and Matt (age 14) was walking out the door to catch a ride to a rugby match but didn't know how he was going to get home.
I had 15 minutes before the office closed at church, 75 minutes before the bank closed, and Marcy's lungs needed suctioning.
Nancy calmly walked into the storm and began talking with Marcy.
I knew the errands I had to run might take a couple of hours. The longer it took me to get away, the later Nancy would have to stay at our house. While I worried about ''wasting'' Nancy's time doing things at home, she remained very calm. I went down my list and did what had to be done before leaving. I showed her how Marcy likes to have her lungs suctioned, gave her my cell phone number and left. When I returned, the lights in the house were dim, there was soft music playing and everything seemed serene. I heard Marcy ''tell'' Nancy she enjoyed her company.
God is in control. Nancy is one of His thermostats. A relief valve for when things get a little overheated.
If you know a family in need, consider finding a way to give them a short break. You may turn out to be their high pressure system. You will definitely be a conduit to a High Power connection.
Every Day Is Precious is a column to remind us to treat everyone we see today as if it could be the last time we see them. It is written by Rob Payne, whose wife, Marcy, was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in August of 2000. Now 41 years old, she has gone from winning 5 and 10K races to being quadriplegic and on a ventilator at home. For a collection of these columns in book form, more ways to help others, more about Marcy, or to receive email updates on her condition, visit www.EveryDayIsPrecious.com. If you have helped someone without being asked, or know of someone who has, share it with others. Send to rob@everydayisprecious.com or to Every Day Is Precious, 2051 Harvington Drive, Franklin, TN. 37069.
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